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Mr. Reeves - Late as usual. What is the cause of your tardiness?

Ruth - Well, you see the alarm was set for seven, and there were eight in the house.

Elaine - Speed and Marion had a fight last night.

Ann Nita - Liquor?

Elaine - No, she licked him.

Mrs. Winter - Ronald, give me a definition for realtor.

Ronald - Real means real and tor comes from the Spanish word meaning bull; thus realtor means real bull.

Patty - Why does Mickey love you so much?

Lois - Cause I let him, I guess.

Celeste - Look at my face. It doesn't look right.

James - You ought to diet.

Celeste - What color should I use?

Mary Lois - How does your eye feel?

Lawrence - Better

Mary Lois - Hope it comes out all right.

Goofy - One of my closest friends is Scotch.

Casey - What is the difference between a louse and a cootie?

Nancy - The cootie has military training.

She - How do you measure a pound of kisses?

He - Oh, by compression.

Minister - You had better renounce the Devil, my friend.

Dying Man - Why, I ain't in a position to make enemies.

Alec Frank - O-O-Oh, say, look. There's something running across the floor and it don't have legs.

Mrs. Blaydes - Good gracious, Alec, what is it?

Alec - Water, Mrs. Blayds.

Mrs. Winter - I suppose you read Shakespeare?

Helen McDowell - Oh, yes; I read all his stuff as soon as it comes out.

Miss Hall - What is the future tense of marry?

Doris Ervin - Divorce

Mr. Bratcher - What does Q.E.D. mean?

Jake - Quizzes every day.

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